Lost: Over The Hedge version
by I'm Black and Proud
Summary: Come on, you guys should know why this is rated M. Crashes, deaths, swearing, sex, violence, all because the gang is LOST. And yes, the violence and deaths begin. After that, the sex. Oh, yes. There will be blood...
1. Intro

**Yeah... Madagashedge... I deleted it. It didn't work out for me. But here will be a good one. I don't own OTH or Lost. Enjoy!**

RJ is now shown lying on the ground--forest ground. We think he's dead, but he opens his eyes, and looks around.

RJ- What the--? Where am I?

RJ gets up and continues looking. He sees light through a hole of the bushes. Thinking it's a way out, he runs toward the light. When he goes through the hole, he couldn't believe what he saw...

There was a small sand surface. In front of it was the ocean. Therefore implying that he's on a island. But he wasn't alone. The rest of the gang were out there scrambled around yelling. Some of them arguing. Also in the ground were huge parts to a airplane.

When RJ sees the plane parts, he now remembers the plane crash he was in.

**Flashback: to the gang on a private plane**

The plane shook. The gang gets worried.

Pilot- Folks, this is your pilot speaking. We've experienced a little turbulance. But don't worry about it. It's alright.

The plane shakes again. The gang gets even more worried.

Pilot- Folks, this is the pilot again. Well, there is a squirrel on my lap who won't stop touching my wheel...

The gang...and us...all know who it is.

Hammy- I like touching it! It makes us go bouncy bouncy--(sees a button) Ooooooohhhh... what's this do?

Pilot- DON'T TOUCH THAT!!!!!

Hammy pushes the button, and the wheels fly out--and break off from under the plane. Then all of a sudden, some of the back part of the plane falls off, as the plane flies down.

**End of flashback**

Everyone remaining, who is Hammy, RJ, Verne, Heather, Ozzy, Lou, Penny, and the porcupine kids, are all walking around yelling at each other.

Then, a propeller starts winding, and it's so strong that it sucked up the porcupine family as it exploded! Saying goodbye to them.

As the gang looked in shock, RJ came in.

RJ- Well... what now?


	2. Plans and Ideas

While RJ and the remainder of the gang were stranded on the island, they made shelter from the remaining parts of the plane.

Meanwhile... at 12:21 A.M., the gang sit in a circle in front of a fire.

RJ- I need to know what this place is. Because as long as we're here, we have a 50 percent chance of survival.

Verne- Well, if it wasn't for HAMMY, we wouldn't have lost Lou, Penny, Bucky, Spike, and Quillo. Hell, we would be relaxing in the hedge right now.

Hammy- Hey, I wanted to bounce in the plane. I didn't know all that crashing stuff was going to happen.

Verne- Oh, no wonder you didn't know. Because you're retarted!

Hammy- Hey! Shut up before you start something that you can't finish, bitch!

RJ- Hey, hey, hey. Watch your mouth!

Hammy- I can cuss anytime I choose, RJ. As long as we're on this island, there are no rules. I can say whatever the fuck I want!

RJ- Alright, forget it.

Ozzy- I got something to say. What will we do for food?

RJ- We're gonna have to find something. Unless we eat one of you.

Everybody looks at Verne.

Verne- What the fuck are ya'll lookin' at?

Heather- We can't just eat other animals. That's canibalism!

RJ- Then Heather, we've got NO CHOICE. We gotta find something to eat.

Hammy- Please stop talking about food! You're making me hungry, dammit!

RJ- Then what do you want to talk about, Hammy? Huh? You wanna come up here and teach the class? Food helps us live. Remember what I said about food?

Hammy- Yes. Please don't re-enact it.

Tiger- I got a question: WHAT THE FUCK ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO NOW???!!!! We got no food, no entertainment, no shit! Oh, well. At least Stella didn't come with us.

RJ- Right now, we should just get some rest. We gotta think on what to do tomorrow. Good night, everyone.

Everyone goes to sleep. 3 hours later, Verne is shown standing in front of the ocean.

Verne- WHYYYYYYYY???!!! WHY MUST I BE STUCK HERE??!! TAKE ME NOW!!! TAKE ME NOW!!!

RJ gets up.

RJ- Verne, allow for me to speak for everyone here when I say, SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!! You're gonna be in for some torture when we get up.

RJ goes back to sleep.

RJ- And it begins RIGHT NOW!!!

Verne- Please, you ain't gonna shi--

RJ throws a coconut at him, knocking him out

Verne- (woozily) I got ya.

**Hopefully you guys like this one better than Madagashedge. Review or flame. New chapter soon.**


	3. Neighbor

The next day...

RJ- All right, everyone. Group meeting!

Everyone gathers in a circle.

RJ- Okay, I can't find any food. So we're gonna have to make something. And we gotta make something good.

Hammy zooms away, and then comes back in 2 seconds with some seaweed, and a campfire.

Hammy- Try this!

RJ and the rest of the gang roast the seaweed on the fire. They eat... and they enjoy it.

Hammy- Well...?

RJ- This is pretty good. I love it!

Heather- How did you come up with this?

Hammy- Well I just thought of marshmallows, then replaced the marshmallows with seaweed. I mean, I CAN come up with that myself. I'm not stupid...

Verne- Uh, yes you ar--

RJ- Don't.

Meanwhile, mysteriously, an old beaver looks through the bushes, holding a shotgun. Then, he runs towards them.

Beaver- GET OFF OF MY PROPERTY!!!!

RJ- Whoa, what the hell?

The beaver whacks and shoots everywhere. Trying to scare away the gang.

Beaver- THIS IS MY PROPERTY!!! WHY DON'T PEOPLE RESPE--

All of a sudden, he got kicked in the nuts by Hammy.

RJ- Quick! Tie him up! Tie him up!

The gang ties the beaver with his shotgun.

RJ- All right. What the hell is going on with you. How can this be your property? It's a lost island.

Beaver- Look, I get pissed off when people invade here. Now if you let me go, I promise not to bother you again.

RJ- Well... OK.

RJ unties him.

Beaver- I can't beileve you fell for that old bribing shit!

The beaver whacks RJ with the gun, then runs back through the bushes.

RJ- Ow! Damn, what's his problem?

Hammy- I don't know. But he scares me.

Verne- He scared all of us, douchebag!

Hammy- Oh, don't start this shit with me again.

8 hours later...

The gang is sleep, then a shadow covers them all, unable for us to see them. When the shadow took off, everybody was still sleeping. Except... RJ is missing.


	4. Splitting up, and a Fight to the death

The next day, Hammy was the first to wake up. He looked around to see everyone still sleeping, but RJ was gone.

Hammy- Huh? RJ? RJ?

Hammy looked everywhere (not the forest), but he still couldn't find him.

Hammy- Everyone! Everyone! Wake up!

Verne- Hammy, hat the hell is it?

Hammy- RJ's gone!

Ozzy- Gone? Gone where?

Hammy- I don't know! I woke up, I didn't find him, I looked everywhere, but I couldn't find him.

Tiger- Did you look in that big-ass forest right there?

Hammy- Uuuhhh... No. Too scary.

Verne- You idiot! He might be in there!

Heather- Hammy had every right not to go there! He obviously couldn't go alone.

Ozzy- Then what should we do?

Heather- Well, we have to go inside. All together.

Tiger- Ehh... I'll stay out here. You know, to keep watch.

Knives then wash up on shore.

Heather, Ozzy, Verne, and Hammy grab the knives.

Heather- Come on. Let's go.

They go inside the forest...

Heather- Okay. We have to split up.

Verne- We were _never_ in a relationship.

Heather- I meant "split up" as in go into groups. My dad and I will go this way, Hammy, you and Verne go that way.

Verne and Hammy- WHAT??!!! I GOTTA BE STUCK WITH _HIM_???!!! (Looks at each other) Stop copying me! Shut up! Make me! STOP IT!!!

Heather- Both of you stop it!

Ozzy- Heather made a good point to team you two together. You need to work things out. Besides, with Tiger gaurding outside, you have no choice.

Hammy- (sighs) Alright. (under his breath) Bullshit.

The two groups both go seprate ways. The point of view goes to Hammy and Verne.

Hammy- RJ! RJ! Where are you, buddy? RJ!

Verne- (sigh) I can't beileve I'm stuck with you. And that I have to listen to your gay-ass voice.

Hammy- You know what, Verne? Just shut the fuck up. I'm sick of it.

Verne- Well what are you gonna do, Hammy?

Hammy- You know what? I'm tired of this. I'm tired of you One of us has to go.

Verne- Are you suggesting a fight to the death?

Hammy- Hell yeah!

Verne- You got a deal.

They aim their knives, and have a staredown.

Verne- Prepare to die, bitch.

Hammy- I don't think so, you pussy motherfucker. Let's end this.

**Oh, man. I love messing with you guys. This is the PERFECT way to end a chapter. Next one coming soon. REVIEW OR FLAME.**


	5. Hammy vs Verne

**I'm baaaack! Like the new username? (NOTE: Tiger has been written out of the story)**

Face-off...

Verne- Hammy, look! Cookies!

Hammy looks around.

Hammy- I don't see anything--

Verne runs towards Hammy, and Hammy dodges while Verne trips. Hammy then had a quick advantage. He then cut off both of Verne's legs. While Verne screamed in pain, Hammy took off his shell, and stabbed him right in the back.

Verne- You...got...lucky, you son of a--

Hammy cuts off Verne's head. He then heard Heather's voice.

Heather- Hammy? Hammy?

Hammy- (looks at Verne's lifeless body) Oh, crap!

Hammy then looks for a place to hide. But can't find anywhere, so he hid the body behind the shell and sat on the shell.

Heather- I heard Verne screaming. What happened?

Hammy- Uh... Nothing!

Heather- Is that a shell?

Hammy- (kicks it away) What shell? (Then realizes he revealed the body) Damn!

Ozzy- Is that... V...(faints)

Heather- Verne is dead? What happened?

Hammy- Well... uh... (quietly) i killed him...

Heather- You killed him? Why?

Hammy- It was his fault! He wanted us to fight to the death!

RJ- (while running away) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH-- (trips on Verne's body)

Hammy- RJ! You're alive!

RJ- We DO NOT have time!! We gotta run! (looks at the body) What the hell happened?

All of a sudden, a tiger is heard. It's running towards the gang. Thinking of an idea, Hammy throws Verne's body in front of the tiger. The tiger looks at it, then starts eating it while the gang runs away.

A few moments later...

Heather- Phew! That was close.

RJ- Damn, you said it. Now, why is Verne dead?

Heather points to Hammy. Hammy whistles.

RJ- Hammy, what the fuck did you do?

Hammy- Okay. We couldn't last another minute with each other. So... we suggested a fight to the death. And... I won.

RJ- I told you not to watch "The Condemed"!!

Hammy- I snuck in. You fell asleep because you were drunk!

Ozzy- Guys, stop it! We still got to figure out how to get out of here.

RJ- Well, it's only four of us. And we lost Verne. I don't know how the hell we'll get out of here, but we are not safe. Hey, where's Hammy?

Hammy- Guys! Over here! I found something!

RJ- This better be good...

**Hmm... What did Hammy find? Stay tuned!**


End file.
